I don’t have THE dream job, and it’s ok
Let me start by saying that for all intents and purposes, I “love” my job. I work for a large local company, and I am very proud to have been able to be hired there. My job has allowed me to have enough to take care of my family and even buy myself a little “treat” here and there. It has also made it possible for me to pursue other passions because I generally don’t feel overworked. However, I definitely did not dream of doing what I currently do when I was growing up.
But why do we do that in the first place? Why ask children what they want to be when they grow up? What do they know about anything? As a child, I never thought I could be a linguist, or be in public relations or a translator. All I saw around me were my teachers, my parents and singers and actors on television playing doctors, lawyers and cops. And so, as a child I wanted to be a singer, an actress, a teacher, a lawyer and a hairdresser. And my parents, wanting the best for their kids, wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer.
As I got older, I realized that I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be when I “grew up”. In the career workshops at school, I took the mandatory personality tests and, honestly, I don’t even remember what they said was a match for me, but clearly it didn’t inspire me.
Choosing a career path is traumatic if you are not absolutely passionate about what you want to do. It feels like you must get it right at 16 years old, otherwise you are doomed. This is what I felt, anyway. But that is so, so, so far from the truth.
With all the anxiety that choosing a career path was bringing me and also with the fact that I truly didn’t know what I wanted to be, in the end, I dropped out of university. I felt like I was wasting money (that I didn’t really have). And I couldn’t bring myself to just study something sensible just to get a Bachelor’s degree, regretfully. I didn’t have the mental strength to do something I didn’t believe in back then. I, therefore, went on the job market. I had actually found a job a little before dropping out.
It was an entry level, full-time job. I was going to make my own money and possibly move out on my own a few months after that. It was a job at a big company with great benefits. I was really happy.
I spent years working for this company. I moved up a little, but there wasn’t very many possibilities of advancement there. Still, I really loved working there. I stayed for over 15 years. I started dating my husband, got married, had my kids, and even turned 40 all while working there. I loved working there, but the pay was really low.
I can confirm that you do hit sort of a midlife crisis when approaching 40. Well, at least, I did… Big time… I became very dissatisfied with my life, and mainly with the fact that I wasn’t making enough money to do what I wanted for me and my family. I kept thinking about the fact that I was to blame for all of it. As a child and a young adult, I had the ability to study and go far, but I threw it all away when it got tough. I was disappointed in myself. I thought about going back to school, but I still, to this day, don’t know what I could learn to truly get me ahead at this point. So, I started looking for another job, found one and quit my job.
This was one of the most nerve racking thing I have ever done in my life, but that’s a post for another time.
I’m still in the same field. I was able to get this job because of the many years of experience I have under my belt. That actually made me feel better. Like I didn’t waste my time for almost 20 years. My salary is on par with most professionals around me who did go to university. That also makes me feel better. Although, I often think if I was able to get here with the diploma I have, there is no doubt I would have done way better with a higher education diploma.
My job is giving me what I need, no more, no less. I am able to stay out of debt. I was able to buy a car that I chose and not one that I had to pick because it was the cheapest. I am able to put my kids through private school. I can also make fun purchases once in a while. This is very much to my satisfaction. So, in a sense, maybe I do have the dream job because it does help me to live my dream life.
But I’m not rich. But it’s been said that money doesn’t buy happiness. And I’m so happy…
